In 2007, I went and spent a year in Africa serving for a non-profit organization fighting the widow and orphan crisis caused by HIV/AIDS. Below is a collection of blog entries describing one of many experiences.
One day in July, I went to go visit my good friends Divine and Emily. As many of you know, Divine is a 9 year old boy who I have been friends with since my first trip here two years ago. Emily is his Aunt who is a home based care nurse in the community I am working in.
As I walked in the door, I noticed that Divine had a visitor. He was a young boy who looked about 7 years old. Emily explained to me that he was a patient of hers. His parents have both passed away and he is living in a very small wooden shack of a house with his Aunt, Uncle, and cousins. He is HIV positive and has severe Tuberculosis. Emily decided to have the boy come to her house for a visit over the weekend to give him a break from his situation. As I introduced myself to him, I noticed how thin he was. I went to put my hand on his back and could feel only bone.
He also had a severe cough. I played with him and Divine for a few minutes and as I left I asked Emily how old he was. Emily told me he was thirteen. I couldn't believe it. Divine is 9 and is larger than him. Emily says that AIDS delay’s children’s development.
A couple weeks later, Emily and I were driving and she asked me if I remembered the boy that had stayed with her. I said of course and she explained to me that his condition was not good and that tests had revealed that his form of TB (tuberculosis) was drug resistant. She explained that he needed to be admitted to a special TB hospital, however he couldn't stay at the one near the community because he had previously stayed there for 7 months and couldn't be readmitted. He was needing to go to a hospital in Middleburg; two and a half hours from here. However, the grandmother and his family did not want this to happen because they didn't have transport money to visit him. Emily was hoping that at least the doctor could provide some things for him including oxygen to keep him comfortable if he had to stay home. It took a few times for Emily to say "keep him comfortable" before I knew what she meant. That's all that could be done was to keep him comfortable.
A week later, Emily told me that he had been placed in the TB hospital in our community. The Middleburg hospital needs there own results before he can be admitted. We are still hoping that he will be able to go there because they can try different treatments to see if any match his certain strain of TB. The results from the test take six weeks. So, he will be in the community TB hospital for the next six weeks where all they can do is keep him comfortable; he is the only child in the hospital. I asked Emily if he will make it six weeks. She responded by saying, "with his condition, only the Lord knows."
I went to go visit him with Emily and his Aunt. He was so happy to see us. We only stayed a little while but you could tell it made his day. You can also tell that his Aunt loves him very much. Before we left, his Aunt prayed for him. She sang her heart out and prayed with such desperation. She put everything into her prayer. You go the sense she knew she could do nothing else but pray. So, she was going to put her full effort into it.
After another visit, Emily wanted to pray for him. Again, that is all we have left. I went to put my hand on his upper arm and there was nothing there. I could put my thumb and my finger around his arm. I couldn't help but weep. I would be going to see him as much as possible.
After many visits, Nkosinathi passed away at approx. 3:45 am Sunday December 16th, 2007. I was with him during that last 12 and a half hours of his life and was with him as he left us. I was in a very strange place and am still in denial that he is gone. Over the past five months I have been visiting every week or two and have helped transfer him to get his HIV/AIDS treatment at the local clinic. I keep thinking I will go visit him next week.
Through all of this, I am trying to find the justice in this. I came here to provide that. Where is the justice in a 13 year old boy dying an unbelievably painful death caused by a thing called AIDS and a thing called TB? Two things that were given to him; two things he did not find or ask for.
I have come to one conclusion. There is no justice in that. The funeral is on Saturday. After the funeral I was in rough shape. I didn't know if I could continue to live or work in Africa. At the funeral, his family was amazing. The family let me and Emily be a part of activities that are usually only done with family members. It was very special. At the end, after we had finished a meal, the boy’s grandmother and I had an amazing conversation. By the end, she had told me she considered me one of her son's because of the way that I had treated her grandson. I told her that I had a grandmother at home in Canada but I now considered her my grandmother in Africa. We both wept and gave each other an enormous hug. It was truly amazing how God was able to bring us together and find hope in one another. This young amazing, strong, resilant boy’s name was Nkosinathi. In English this translates to “God with us.” Today being world AIDS day, that’s where our hope comes from. God with us.
This story has obviously stuck with me to this day. I think about Nkosinathi often. Although I shared this story on my blog when it happened, since coming home from Africa I have shared this experience with only a few people. It was very difficult for me to do so. I also didn’t want Nkosinathi to become just another story or a tool to use to explain the devastation that AIDS is having in Africa. He deserved to be honoured to be remembered for the incredible young man that he was. There is obviously much more to this story which I haven’t shared in this post and would be more than willing to share it with anyone that is interested because what I have realized is that by introducing him to you, I am honouring him. The organization I have worked with says they want to reach 100,00 orphans, but we need to do it one by one. So today as we recognize world AIDS day, please remember that these are not stories, these are children and each one of them needs to honoured and remembered.
