Now is the time for darkness.
The time for despair.
The time that I truly care.
Not for Him, but for them.
For they keep fighting,
Keep trying to survive
But each one hit’s a wall;
A wall not one of them
has been able to conquer.
Free will can only go so far
Before wrong be the victor.
For when the moment occurs
When the positive ideas of free will
Are destroyed and over run by
The negative, He must intervene.
That time has come,
So where is he?
The only thing that keep’s me holding on
to the Little faith that remains is the
thought that He is unable to stop this.
For if that is not reality then I had none.
Because he’s thirteen; that smile was all for not.
Yet I will fight despite Him.
For although He will not humble himself to
take responsibilities for the detrimental
outcomes of his creation, I will.
Because he’s thirteen and
he deserves more then He will give him.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Now is the Time for a Miracle
About 4 weeks ago, I went to go visit with my good friends Divine and Emily. As many of you know, Divine is a 9 year old boy who I have been friends with since my first trip here two years ago. Emily is his Aunt who is a home based care nurse in the community I am working in.
As I walked in the door, I noticed that Divine had a visitor. He was a young boy who looked about 7 years old. Emily explained to me that he was a patient of hers. His parents have both passed away and he is living in a very small wooded shack of a house with his Aunt, Uncle, and cousins. He is HIV positive and has severe Tuberculosis. Emily decided to have the boy come to her house for a visit over the weekend to give him a break from his situation. As I introduced my self to him, I noticed how thin he was. I went to put my hand on his back and could feel only bone.
He also had a severe cough. I played with him and Divine for a few minutes and as I left I asked Emily how old he was. Emily told me he was thirteen. I couldn't believe it. Divine is 9 and is larger then him. Emily says that AIDS delay’s children’s development.
A couple weeks ago, Emily and I were driving and she asked me if I remembered the boy that had stayed with her. I said of course and she explained to me that his condition was not good and that tests had revealed that his form of TB (tuberculosis) was drug resistant. She explained that he needed to be admitted to a special TB hospital, however he couldn't stay at the one near the community because he had previously stayed there for 7 months and couldn't be readmitted. He was needing to go to a hospital in Middleburg; two and a half hours from here. However, the grandmother and his family did not want this to happen because they didn't have transport money to visit him. Emily was hoping that at least the doctor could provide some things for him including oxygen to keep him comfortable if he had to stay home. It took a few times for Emily to say "keep him comfortable" before I knew what she meant. That's all that could be done was to keep him comfortable.
Last week, Emily told me that he had been placed in the TB hospital in our community. The Middleburg hospital needs there own results before he can be admitted. We are still hoping that he will be able to go there because they can try different treatments to see if any match his certain strain of TB. The results from the test take six weeks. So, he will be in the community TB hospital for the next six weeks where all they can do is keep him comfortable; he is the only child in the hospital. I asked Emily if he will make it six weeks. She responded by saying, "with his condition, only the Lord knows."
I went to go visit him a couple days ago with Emily and his Aunt. He was so happy to see us. We only stayed a little while but you could tell it made his day. You can also tell that his Aunt loves him very much. Before we left, his Aunt prayed for him. She sang her heart out and prayed with such desperation. She put everything into her prayer. You go the sense she knew she could do nothing else but pray. So, she was going to put her full effort into it.
God and I are not on good terms now and my faith is definitely not strong. However, as she prayed, all I could say in my mind was "Now is the time for a miracle" over and over. Before we left, he leaned over and said something to me in siSwati, his native language. The aunt explained he was asking me if I would come back. Of course I would.
I went back with Emily to see him yesterday. He seemed a bit better and again as soon as he saw us he smiled. We brought him a few small toys, some crayons, pencils, sticks, and coloring books. It was like Christmas day for him. The smile never left his face; he was so thankful. But as you look at his amazing smile, you can also see his throat struggling for air. Emily said that is not a good sign. His little heart is having to work so hard for him to breath. But, at that moment he was happy and that's all that mattered.
Emily wanted to pray for him. Again, that is all we have left. I went to put my hand on his upper arm and there was nothing there. I could put my thumb and my finger around his arm. I couldn't help but weep. I will be going to see him as much as possible.
His name is Nkosinathi which translates to ‘God with us.’
God be with us.
As I walked in the door, I noticed that Divine had a visitor. He was a young boy who looked about 7 years old. Emily explained to me that he was a patient of hers. His parents have both passed away and he is living in a very small wooded shack of a house with his Aunt, Uncle, and cousins. He is HIV positive and has severe Tuberculosis. Emily decided to have the boy come to her house for a visit over the weekend to give him a break from his situation. As I introduced my self to him, I noticed how thin he was. I went to put my hand on his back and could feel only bone.
He also had a severe cough. I played with him and Divine for a few minutes and as I left I asked Emily how old he was. Emily told me he was thirteen. I couldn't believe it. Divine is 9 and is larger then him. Emily says that AIDS delay’s children’s development.
A couple weeks ago, Emily and I were driving and she asked me if I remembered the boy that had stayed with her. I said of course and she explained to me that his condition was not good and that tests had revealed that his form of TB (tuberculosis) was drug resistant. She explained that he needed to be admitted to a special TB hospital, however he couldn't stay at the one near the community because he had previously stayed there for 7 months and couldn't be readmitted. He was needing to go to a hospital in Middleburg; two and a half hours from here. However, the grandmother and his family did not want this to happen because they didn't have transport money to visit him. Emily was hoping that at least the doctor could provide some things for him including oxygen to keep him comfortable if he had to stay home. It took a few times for Emily to say "keep him comfortable" before I knew what she meant. That's all that could be done was to keep him comfortable.
Last week, Emily told me that he had been placed in the TB hospital in our community. The Middleburg hospital needs there own results before he can be admitted. We are still hoping that he will be able to go there because they can try different treatments to see if any match his certain strain of TB. The results from the test take six weeks. So, he will be in the community TB hospital for the next six weeks where all they can do is keep him comfortable; he is the only child in the hospital. I asked Emily if he will make it six weeks. She responded by saying, "with his condition, only the Lord knows."
I went to go visit him a couple days ago with Emily and his Aunt. He was so happy to see us. We only stayed a little while but you could tell it made his day. You can also tell that his Aunt loves him very much. Before we left, his Aunt prayed for him. She sang her heart out and prayed with such desperation. She put everything into her prayer. You go the sense she knew she could do nothing else but pray. So, she was going to put her full effort into it.
God and I are not on good terms now and my faith is definitely not strong. However, as she prayed, all I could say in my mind was "Now is the time for a miracle" over and over. Before we left, he leaned over and said something to me in siSwati, his native language. The aunt explained he was asking me if I would come back. Of course I would.
I went back with Emily to see him yesterday. He seemed a bit better and again as soon as he saw us he smiled. We brought him a few small toys, some crayons, pencils, sticks, and coloring books. It was like Christmas day for him. The smile never left his face; he was so thankful. But as you look at his amazing smile, you can also see his throat struggling for air. Emily said that is not a good sign. His little heart is having to work so hard for him to breath. But, at that moment he was happy and that's all that mattered.
Emily wanted to pray for him. Again, that is all we have left. I went to put my hand on his upper arm and there was nothing there. I could put my thumb and my finger around his arm. I couldn't help but weep. I will be going to see him as much as possible.
His name is Nkosinathi which translates to ‘God with us.’
God be with us.
The Pressures of Change
Hello everyone,
first, my apologies for the gap between posts. I will try and write more frequently even if it's just a little note. First, I have heard the amazing church news! I'm so glad that Westside has found their new senior pastor. From what I hear, he's a great guy. I'm even more excited that my good friend Jeremy Duncan will be staying on to continue to run Unedited Spirituality and share teaching with Chris!! Glad everything has worked out.
As for Africa, it has been a busy past couple weeks. The students are studying very hard at the moment as they prepare for their upgrading tests at the beginning of October. These tests are extremely important because they need to increase their grades to be considered for university and college. Unfortunately, it seems that the stress of this process may be too much for some. One of our students, Fortunate has been seriously ill for the past week and a half. She has been vomiting and unable to hold any food down. We have taken her the clinic twice this month and once to the nearest town to see a specialist. At this point, the nurses and Doctors can't find anything physically wrong. She is feeling better as of yesterday and the current diagnosis is that the illness is psychological. The nurse who has been working with her believes that stress is behind it. I think we forget the pressure that these students are under. Not only are they studying (or are supposed to be studying) everyday, but they also have the added stress of the coming year. Fortunate has applied, and will hopefully be accepted to a university such as the University of Jo'burg. This means that she will be leaving her community behind. A community she has lived in her entire life. A community where her entire support network is and the only community she has ever known. This is an enormous shift for her. New friends, new culture, new routines, new everything. We are looking at getting her a counselor to start to process some of her feelings around her transition.
first, my apologies for the gap between posts. I will try and write more frequently even if it's just a little note. First, I have heard the amazing church news! I'm so glad that Westside has found their new senior pastor. From what I hear, he's a great guy. I'm even more excited that my good friend Jeremy Duncan will be staying on to continue to run Unedited Spirituality and share teaching with Chris!! Glad everything has worked out.
As for Africa, it has been a busy past couple weeks. The students are studying very hard at the moment as they prepare for their upgrading tests at the beginning of October. These tests are extremely important because they need to increase their grades to be considered for university and college. Unfortunately, it seems that the stress of this process may be too much for some. One of our students, Fortunate has been seriously ill for the past week and a half. She has been vomiting and unable to hold any food down. We have taken her the clinic twice this month and once to the nearest town to see a specialist. At this point, the nurses and Doctors can't find anything physically wrong. She is feeling better as of yesterday and the current diagnosis is that the illness is psychological. The nurse who has been working with her believes that stress is behind it. I think we forget the pressure that these students are under. Not only are they studying (or are supposed to be studying) everyday, but they also have the added stress of the coming year. Fortunate has applied, and will hopefully be accepted to a university such as the University of Jo'burg. This means that she will be leaving her community behind. A community she has lived in her entire life. A community where her entire support network is and the only community she has ever known. This is an enormous shift for her. New friends, new culture, new routines, new everything. We are looking at getting her a counselor to start to process some of her feelings around her transition.
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