A Thread of Faith

Now is the time for darkness.
The time for despair.
The time that I truly care.
Not for Him, but for them.
For they keep fighting,
Keep trying to survive
But each one hit’s a wall;
A wall not one of them
has been able to conquer.

Free will can only go so far
Before wrong be the victor.
For when the moment occurs
When the positive ideas of free will
Are destroyed and over run by
The negative, He must intervene.
That time has come,
So where is he?

The only thing that keep’s me holding on
to the Little faith that remains is the
thought that He is unable to stop this.
For if that is not reality then I had none.
Because he’s thirteen; that smile was all for not.
Yet I will fight despite Him.
For although He will not humble himself to
take responsibilities for the detrimental
outcomes of his creation, I will.
Because he’s thirteen and
he deserves more then He will give him.

Now is the Time for a Miracle

About 4 weeks ago, I went to go visit with my good friends Divine and Emily. As many of you know, Divine is a 9 year old boy who I have been friends with since my first trip here two years ago. Emily is his Aunt who is a home based care nurse in the community I am working in.
As I walked in the door, I noticed that Divine had a visitor. He was a young boy who looked about 7 years old. Emily explained to me that he was a patient of hers. His parents have both passed away and he is living in a very small wooded shack of a house with his Aunt, Uncle, and cousins. He is HIV positive and has severe Tuberculosis. Emily decided to have the boy come to her house for a visit over the weekend to give him a break from his situation. As I introduced my self to him, I noticed how thin he was. I went to put my hand on his back and could feel only bone.
He also had a severe cough. I played with him and Divine for a few minutes and as I left I asked Emily how old he was. Emily told me he was thirteen. I couldn't believe it. Divine is 9 and is larger then him. Emily says that AIDS delay’s children’s development.
A couple weeks ago, Emily and I were driving and she asked me if I remembered the boy that had stayed with her. I said of course and she explained to me that his condition was not good and that tests had revealed that his form of TB (tuberculosis) was drug resistant. She explained that he needed to be admitted to a special TB hospital, however he couldn't stay at the one near the community because he had previously stayed there for 7 months and couldn't be readmitted. He was needing to go to a hospital in Middleburg; two and a half hours from here. However, the grandmother and his family did not want this to happen because they didn't have transport money to visit him. Emily was hoping that at least the doctor could provide some things for him including oxygen to keep him comfortable if he had to stay home. It took a few times for Emily to say "keep him comfortable" before I knew what she meant. That's all that could be done was to keep him comfortable.
Last week, Emily told me that he had been placed in the TB hospital in our community. The Middleburg hospital needs there own results before he can be admitted. We are still hoping that he will be able to go there because they can try different treatments to see if any match his certain strain of TB. The results from the test take six weeks. So, he will be in the community TB hospital for the next six weeks where all they can do is keep him comfortable; he is the only child in the hospital. I asked Emily if he will make it six weeks. She responded by saying, "with his condition, only the Lord knows."
I went to go visit him a couple days ago with Emily and his Aunt. He was so happy to see us. We only stayed a little while but you could tell it made his day. You can also tell that his Aunt loves him very much. Before we left, his Aunt prayed for him. She sang her heart out and prayed with such desperation. She put everything into her prayer. You go the sense she knew she could do nothing else but pray. So, she was going to put her full effort into it.
God and I are not on good terms now and my faith is definitely not strong. However, as she prayed, all I could say in my mind was "Now is the time for a miracle" over and over. Before we left, he leaned over and said something to me in siSwati, his native language. The aunt explained he was asking me if I would come back. Of course I would.
I went back with Emily to see him yesterday. He seemed a bit better and again as soon as he saw us he smiled. We brought him a few small toys, some crayons, pencils, sticks, and coloring books. It was like Christmas day for him. The smile never left his face; he was so thankful. But as you look at his amazing smile, you can also see his throat struggling for air. Emily said that is not a good sign. His little heart is having to work so hard for him to breath. But, at that moment he was happy and that's all that mattered.
Emily wanted to pray for him. Again, that is all we have left. I went to put my hand on his upper arm and there was nothing there. I could put my thumb and my finger around his arm. I couldn't help but weep. I will be going to see him as much as possible.
His name is Nkosinathi which translates to ‘God with us.’
God be with us.

The Pressures of Change

Hello everyone,
first, my apologies for the gap between posts. I will try and write more frequently even if it's just a little note. First, I have heard the amazing church news! I'm so glad that Westside has found their new senior pastor. From what I hear, he's a great guy. I'm even more excited that my good friend Jeremy Duncan will be staying on to continue to run Unedited Spirituality and share teaching with Chris!! Glad everything has worked out.
As for Africa, it has been a busy past couple weeks. The students are studying very hard at the moment as they prepare for their upgrading tests at the beginning of October. These tests are extremely important because they need to increase their grades to be considered for university and college. Unfortunately, it seems that the stress of this process may be too much for some. One of our students, Fortunate has been seriously ill for the past week and a half. She has been vomiting and unable to hold any food down. We have taken her the clinic twice this month and once to the nearest town to see a specialist. At this point, the nurses and Doctors can't find anything physically wrong. She is feeling better as of yesterday and the current diagnosis is that the illness is psychological. The nurse who has been working with her believes that stress is behind it. I think we forget the pressure that these students are under. Not only are they studying (or are supposed to be studying) everyday, but they also have the added stress of the coming year. Fortunate has applied, and will hopefully be accepted to a university such as the University of Jo'burg. This means that she will be leaving her community behind. A community she has lived in her entire life. A community where her entire support network is and the only community she has ever known. This is an enormous shift for her. New friends, new culture, new routines, new everything. We are looking at getting her a counselor to start to process some of her feelings around her transition.

The Community Stay

I sit here watching an amazing seventeen year old boy focus as he draws a picture for an advertising project for his english class. This is day two of my community stay. I have enjoyed every minute of it; well, except for the fact that I forgot my toothbrush.
I have been lucky enough to have been placed in the home belonging to my friend B. Not 10 minutes will pass P in front of the house without me marveling at how this 17 year old boy has become an adult so quickly.
This Journey began on Monday afternoon. I am warmly greeted by B. We enter his home and he graciously shows me around and shows me where I will sleep. I have been to the house before so I know what to expect; however I am still a bit taken a back every time I visit. It’s a one room brick house; must be 45 ft X 15 ft. Only a card board divider that B has made separates the kitchen/living area from the bedroom.

B in the bedroom : B entering the house/kitchen
I notice quickly that B has rearranged the two beds he and his two brother’s share. I am sure it was for be benefit and just like the other times I have been to the house, it’s extremely neat and tidy.
In the kitchen, a jug for water that we use for drinking and washing which we collect from a tap down the road. There are also two old chairs and a broken stool with a small table. On a small table in the corner are two pots on a very old stove top with one workable burner that B made from old parts. Next to the small table top stove is a kettle used to boil water for cooking and bathing and a small amount of food; oil, tea,

sugar, and half a bag of Mili Maze (the staple food here). Under the table is an old card board box filled with a few dishes; that’s it. If I hadn’t walked in the door with a big box of food for my visit, I wonder what they would have eaten.
As I take a look around, I can tell that something lese is on B’s mind. He then tell me “I have soccer practice, do you want to come with me”? I say yes and we start to walk to the field. On the way, we pass the house of on of the youth leaders who I helped teach better choices with last year. She now has a six month old beautiful baby boy; she is 16. As we continue walking, I get some odd looks from the all black community. When we arrive at the field I see it’s just a patch of partially removed dirt. B explains that the field was in the middle of being constructed for a school just down the road. I can tell from the length of the grass that it has been a long time since any work had been done on it.
I decide to watch the practice from a branch of a big dead tree on the edge of the field. As I sit there, watching the practice, a young girl notices me. She is on her way back to her wooden shack of a home. I smile; she smiles back and then she just stands there watching me. She talks back and forth with her family members of in the distance at her house but she just stands there watching for about five minutes. She then starts walking back but not before throwing a few more glances in my direction.
A few more boys from the team show up including one of the guys from the Forward Education after school program named Never. He tells me that I should come down and play. I do, and as I start to play I realize that practice is just keep away. There are two teams, but again, the flied is not finished. So, we just play keep away. We play until the sun goes down and then walk home.
When we arrive, me meet up with P, B’s younger brother. As many of you know, the youngest brother M is still at the initiation camp. After quickly changing, B starts cleaning the pots using a small brush while P is outside cleaning a few dishes. We then have a visitor; Patrick who lives next door with one of the guys on the Hands at Work construction team. Patrick gets up every morning at 4:30 am to catch the bus to White River, the nearest town, to do a construction job.
Patrick’s roommate from Hands at work is away because his father has passed away. Patrick will be staying with us because he is afraid to stay by himself at night because of the frequency of break-ins.

From Left: me, B, P, and patrick : Eating pap and cabage stew
We then go through the box of food. Obviously we will be eating pap (mili-maze), but we will also cook something to go with it. Pap is very dense like a very thick poorag so people usually eat it with a small amount of stew. You take the pap in your hand, put it in the stew, and then eat it with your hands.
Obviously, B knew how to make the pap, however the combination of the four men in the room where stuck on how to make a good stew. We were able to combine our talents and come up with a recipe containing soya mince with gravy, some vegetables, and a small can of fish. All things considered, it was fairly tasty. I sat on the floor while the others sat on the three chairs.
B and I have become fairly close, so after supper he was very keen to show me all of the pictures and certificates he has collected over the years including his fathers I.D. card. B’s mother ran off on the boys when they were very small. Their father raised them until he died in 2002. As we were looking at the I.D. card, B told me a bit about his story. While his father was very sick, B would wake up at 4:00 am everyday before school to do the house chores. he would then go to school and have to come home part way through the day to check on his father’s condition before walking back to school; B was 11. As mentioned previously, B’s father died when he was 12 and he has been raising his brother ever since in this small one room house where the kitchen/living area is separated from the bed room by a card board divider which B made.

After supper, it’s time for exercise. B has made his own bench press. He has taken a metal rod and put each end in a bucket full of cement to harden; it’s fairly heavy. We both do some weight lifting African style before going to bed. As I sleep in the double bed with P, Patrick on the floor, and B in the single bed, we talk about Canada, South Africa and their differences and similarities. B asks question after question about Canada; he is so keen to know what it’s like.
As I lye in bed, I start to understand the realities of this place. As mentioned, Patrick stays with us because he is too afraid to stay alone. B explains that thieves will cut the electricity lines to large

portions of the community so they are not seen. They will then break into peoples stands (homes) while they sleep. These break-ins often end up in violence. B explains that if people in the community find the thieves, they will beat them to death. They don’t bother to call the police and even if they do come, the community will force them away threatening to beat them as well.
B’s home has been broken into a couple times while he was out and just this past week he noticed someone took money from his place. I feel much better knowing we have locked the windows and put B’s bench press up against the thin wooden door.
I don’t get much sleep that night as P seems to think I am his teddy bear. Also, the dozens of stray dogs and chickens bark and chirp all night. However, I have survived my first night in the community.